“Feb 6, 2023
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I don’t know if you remember me, but a few years ago you provided invaluable advice to me regarding my child _____. We were going through court proceedings where I was battling a biological parent for the right to keep _____ with me since I had him since his birth. As you might remember I successfully gained sole custody in August of 2020.

I have been thinking of you a lot lately and thought I’d write to you and give you an update on where _____ and I are today.

_____ is now a healthy, happy, kind, 10-year old boy. He loves baseball and is getting ready to start spring baseball soon, followed by summer baseball. He also loves to cook. We have spent many weekend evenings cooking together and laughing together. _____ is doing well in school and has made the honor role and makes friends very easily with his outgoing personality. He’s inquisitive and always needs to know “why?”. _____ has a keen interest in space exploration and we just remodeled his bedroom with everything outer space related. He has boundless energy, sometimes to my exhaustion (laughing out loud), but that’s ok I love that he always is on the move to explore or do something new. But he also loves to relax and have family nights in watching a movie or playing board games. Another of _____’s latest interest is in art and drawing, which is also a passion of mine. We sit together in the evenings and I show him different drawing techniques and then he tries it out himself. He’s a good little artist! _____ is also a very loving kid and expresses kindness and caring with ease. He has great manners as well and was even awarded “best mannered” by his teacher last year.

I couldn’t be more proud of the person _____ is. I’m so blessed to have this opportunity to have him in my life. I look forward to the future and all the things to come…good or bad we’ll get through it having each other. And I have to say that is in no small part due to your wonderful advice. In fact, I still go to your website and read your articles on parent-child relationships.

I hope you are doing well. Please feel free to email me any time. Thank you again for your kindness and for sharing your knowledge.

Sincerely,”

“Jan 5, 2023
Happy New Year!

Hello Peter,

I hope this email finds you and yours well and safe. I hear it has been dreadful and scary weather in the Bay Area this last week. It has been a long time since I checked in and I just wanted to take the opportunity with the new year to say hello.

I hope you’re doing alright. We were in _____ early December for a few days, our first big mother/daughter trip together! I thought about you many times over the months but I am simply dreadful at keeping contact most times. It was quite a year for me, with twists and turns almost every month!

_____ is doing very well all things considered and loves letters and words and play doh. (It was the only thing she wanted for Christmas this year.) And when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday (three this February!) she said “a birthday cake!”

She has very much my quiet but deep nature; timid, shy, an attention to detail that fascinates me, and a strong will as can be expected for her age. She still gets terribly upset and triggered if I pop out of the room to do something or go to the backyard even if I tell her what I’m about to do… it’s not surprising but still hard—for me and for her.
As for myself I’m doing well. We inherited a house and I have stability finally. I get to be a stay at home single mom so I am extremely fortunate and blessed and the ability to do so is not lost on me.

I am writing again (for myself), practicing yoga and doing EMDR to help with the trauma. I’m doing what I can and trying my best even though I most certainly have total parenting fails some days that feel utterly horrible. In those moments I take care to repair the best I can with _____ and offer tools that my parents didn’t pass on to me. What else can one do? I learn from my own mistakes as well and thank goodness…

Anyway, I’ll keep this little email short but just wanted to say hello and give you a brief update.

Warm Wishes and all my best~~

Thank you for your instrumental role in my life!”

“March 17, 2022
Hi Dr. Haiman,

How are you? I hope you are doing well. I want to apologize for going silent for so long. I’m very sorry. Thank you so much for your time, effort and caring for the situation with my daughter this time last year. You helped us very much and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

I have been wanting to write and update you since the court decision last July. It has taken this long for me to finally be able to talk about it. The outcome was not what I hoped and _____ began seeing her dad for overnights and spending 72 hours with him a week. It was a very difficult adjustment for her but I can thankfully say that she has now managed to adjust and is doing well.

Your support and caring meant/means an infinite amount to me.

Thank you again,”

“December 28, 2021

Thank you for your guidance, time, support, grace, consideration, listening, encouragement and words of wisdom. I have learned so much from your knowledge, patience, trust and gentleness. I am forever grateful. “Thank you” only scratches the surface.

From a mother in Arizona.”

“August 27, 2020
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I can’t thank you enough for your tireless dedication to helping me and _____ through such a difficult time in both of our lives. I am eternally grateful to you and the work you have dedicated your life to. I honestly believe without your guidance and advice _____ would have suffered much greater harm than he did. I want you to know that each time we spoke on the phone, I kept notes of the advice and key points that you discussed with me and I still use it to help ______ to this day.

I have never met you face-to-face, however, I feel like I have come to know you very well through our many wonderful discussions. Dr. Haiman you are a true hero to me and to _____. I would very much like to stay in touch with you and I invite you to call me or email me any time.

Sincerely, _______”

“Sept 21, 2019
Hello, Dr. Haiman

I can’t thank you enough for your continued interest through this battle and for your wonderful advice. If it weren’t for you I
don’t know if I would have ever thought to reach out to the community and find the Child Advocacy Center who were
instrumental in helping to get charges filed and move things along.

I will contact you as soon as a trial date is set and I will certainly keep you in the loop as things develop.
Take care.

Sincerely, _______”

“June 1, 2019
Dr. Haiman,

I wanted to thank you for our phone conversation on May 30. It was very enlightening, and it has given us hope. I also
want to let you know that I placed a check for you in the mail, and hopefully it will be there shortly coming the whole way
across the country. Please let me know if you don’t receive it.

I greatly appreciate your time and expertise. I look forward to talking again.

Sincerely, _______”

“May 15, 2019

I hope you know how sincerely I appreciate your thoughtful consulting on the very important topic of my child’s emotional
and developmental well-being—-a matter very near and dear to my heart! And how much I respect your work for children
overall.”

“April 8, 2019
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you for your patience with sending payment to you and for the discounted rate of your report. This report is
outstanding and took quite a bit of time to research and put together. I appreciate all of your life long hard work and
dedication for the well-being of infants and children of all ages. Thank you so much and I look forward to working with you
in the future. We will be in touch soon.

Best Wishes, _______”

“October 7, 2018
Dr. Haiman,

Thank you so much for your help in the child custody case. Your publications and phone conversations were of tremendous help.

God is so good in having sent you to help us. In His love always.”

“August 29, 2018

I just have to thank you again for your research. It seems every time I hit a wall the research you have done gives me hope to keep fighting.

My daughter and I thank you, and we will keep in touch as things unfold.

Sincerely, _______”

“July 6, 2018
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I want to apologize for disappearing from the map and being so late with my payment. This has no excuse AT ALL, but unfortunately, I’ve been struggling not only with my finances, but my emotions and health.

I wish I had good news for you but, this court system is so damaging and crazy that nothing good has happened on behalf of my kid.

I’ll try to cover my debt with you as soon as I can. I promise I’ll cover it all. My intention is not to keep one single dime from your work, not only because I’m honest and a woman of principles, but because you are an exceptional professional and human being. Anyway, I ask you to kindly continue being patient until I’m finally done, that for sure will be no further than August.

Again, I’m truly sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you.

A mother from Chicago, IL”

“May 17, 2018
Hello Dr. Haiman,

I cannot thank you enough for talking to me this evening, as it was immeasurably appreciated along with your kindness. I will be implementing as many strategies from our discussion that I can to continue to promote a healthy emotional lifestyle and environment for my daughter.

I could never describe my love and devotion for her, it is deeply felt; every cell just burning. I feel very strongly about your research and that path it strongly advocates.

I would like to speak with you again, as I get closer to my court proceeding date. Your wisdom and understanding to my individual case brought me a great sense relief/ peace. I feel more securely that I am on the right path with respecting and promoting a healthy emotional development for my daughter and considering all factors.

The Family Court System must change and I will continue to be the small town “big voice”. My purpose is my daughter and my legacy is the relationship and commitment that will protect and nurture her lifelong; so she will nurture her children and they will nurture theirs just the same.

In general, I do not know how to take a seat when it comes to my daughter! I greatly look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely, A mother in Ontario, Canada”

“Feb 1, 2018
Good morning Peter,

It’s been about 1.5 years since our conversation and I wanted to give you an update. As a reminder, I had separated from my wife and I reached out to you for advice regarding custody transition of my then 4 year old daughter. I took your advice on how to manage the transition in such a way that would be best for my daughter, along with your advice on how best to communicate with her. I’m very pleased to inform you that everything is going as best as it possibly could and my daughter and I have a tremendous relationship built on love and trust.

Few people would have been so kind as to spend an hour on the phone with a random parent (at no cost) and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your help and the impact it made.

Thank you again for your support and guidance.

Kind Regards, _______”

“Dec 28, 2017
Dr Haiman,

I was struck by the truth of your observations; I am married to a 62 year old man who was taken away from his ‘parents’ when he was between the ages of 2 – 21/2. It has taken me years of searching and learning to try and understand the degree of emotional and psychological retardation this engendered in this man. The worst part of this is that as he gets older, he seems to be regressing further and further into the reactive rage he surely experienced during his early years.

Divorce is now my only viable option. I meant my marriage when I spoke them 25 years ago, but enough has become too much.

Please keep on with your work – far too few people have even an inkling of the long term damage that occurs when a young child suffers this type of trauma.

Thank you, _______”

“Dec 18, 2017
(This was a phone consultation with me between a mother in South America and the father, in Europe)
Hello Dr Peter,

First and foremost thank you for our consultation. I wanted to write you since then but there is a lot going on. You were brilliant conducting the call and the ‘hot’ moments. I was surprised how the father listened to you and respected your knowledge and opinion. After we hung up, we got into a call and we had an agreement to find a solution. I could feel by his voice that he got it finally.

My deepest gratitude, _______”

“Sept 24, 2017

Thank you so much. I find your website excellent and had been advising my patients to use and trust it.

Dr. MSc., MBChB. ( Retired)”

“May 19, 2017
Dr. Haiman,

Thank you for giving me “life” when I was in a very dark place. I had plenty of people who were helping me financially and emotionally, but somehow you gave me a “fire” and hope that I could possibly win this case. We have started therapy. I have already started to see some positive outcomes from attending these sessions.

The girls are doing well.

God’s blessing on you and your household!”

“November 29, 2016

Hi, Peter, this is B. Just giving you a call to follow up with you about the court hearing we had on November 7. It went well. We got all the overnights revoked. And we now have a much more appropriate parenting plan put in place for several visits throughout the week with his father. I am already seeing a huge difference in D’s behavior… It’s been really great. I also wanted to let you know that the judge said he took your report home. He said he really pondered about it for awhile. And that it really helped him out in making his decision. I just wanted to call to give you the good news and say thank you for all your help.”

“October 4, 2016
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you for returning my desperate phone call. It is unbelievable that this unfathomable trauma to parents and their children is occurring in our great nation’s justice system. I was blind to the tragedies occurring until it happened to me and my children. Thank you for listening and believing in me and my daughters and for sharing the helpful information. I will continue to love and fight to protect my children. I have followed up with your recommendations, and will f/u with their recommendations. My hopes and prayers are that we can have many more trained professionals with your expertise to help shed light on this nightmare to help stop the trauma that continues after some of the young brave children disclose their
nightmares.

God bless you in your fight to protect God’s children.

Thank you,
A loving mother”

“Sept 14, 2016
Dear Dr Haiman,

I just wanted to thank you for speaking with my daughter. She felt heard and validated in her concerns which has not happened thus far in this painful process. She will be following up on your suggestions.

Sincerely, _______”

“Jan 31, 2016
Hi Peter,

If you have time in late February or March, I’d like to meet up with you for coffee. My wife and I now plan to move back East. We’re motivated by the change in scenery and in population density, and by the proximity to her family. Also, Bay Area economics are no longer to our advantage, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that our emigration is part of a trend.

To help you connect the dots with who I am, we met twelve years ago, when I worked at Peet’s for a couple years. We last saw each other last year at a picnic table outside of our local grocery store. I quizzed you about my plan to become an athome dad with my son, who is now almost twenty months old.

You recommended the book “Parenting From the Inside Out”. I read it immediately and have recommended it to three dozen others.

I went through a sea change by reading it. I’ve gone on to read other books about attachment, the general category of positive parenting, and progressive education. I used to categorize parenting and child development as just another component of life, but now I believe I see clearly that parenting is the foundation of everything. I’m still catching up with my new recognition.

Meanwhile, at the tot park and the baby gym, I see parenting and caretaking styles that could use a positive adjustment.

There is a need for better informed parenting, even if the demand has not caught up with the need.

When demand falls short of a need, we’re in a situation that calls for advocacy. I’ve been thinking of how to become a wellinformed advocate for healthier child care. I reviewed your website, and it seems I’m in agreement with you on this. After we resettle in Massachusetts, I’ll begin taking steps away from my current career in search of a new career. I’ve thought about the fields of education, education administration, and child therapy, but I’m still undecided on just how to proceed.

Do you have an idea of how you’d advise me on this?

If you won’t have an opportunity to meet for coffee, I understand and I wish you well. I appreciate and will retain the memory of our conversations.

Thanks, _______”

“November 15, 2014
Dr. Haiman,

I would just like to formally thank you for taking the time to return my phone call yesterday. Your website spoke volumes but my personal interaction with you really illuminated the passion and compassion that you have for children. We felt totally alone and confused in this serious and sensitive matter, but you have helped us to have hope. I took many notes and will use them as you have directed. I look forward to speaking with you again soon, and hope that if needed you will be able to assist us as an expert witness in our court case.

Sincere regards to you and your family, _______”

“July 20, 2014

We are in the final stages of an exceptionally difficult, complex and painful journey to reestablish a ‘parenting’ relationship with our granddaughter. She was virtually raised by us. This includes the period of time in which she and her parents, our daughter and son in-law, lived with us. The first roadblock for us was State law. It requires the relationship between the child and the grandparent to be exceptionally strong. Typical grandparent visits like birthdays, holidays, school events or vacations would, of course, not be sufficient. In our case, our granddaughter was with us from 6 in the morning to 5 pm, five to six days a week. This was from when our granddaughter was three months old until she was three years old and our daughter moved her out of our home and terminated the ‘parenting’ relationship. State law requires an expert to testify that, in such a case, much harm can come to the child now and in the future.

In researching for an expert, Dr. Haiman was identified. From the first call it was clear he would only do what is in the best interest of our grandchild: A position with which we were in full agreement. He asked probing questions and asked for background information before offering his opinion. He did not promise a position until he understood the facts. What he did show from the onset was a passion for protecting our grandchild. He clearly cared about her and was concerned about her wellbeing: a child’s advocate.

There came a time when he needed to meet her. His methodology was clear and understandable to the lay person. He presented no vague approach only the expert would know. His explanations were clear. We were included by him and felt comfortable with how the session would proceed. Again, no promises of result, just an honest, scientific approach.

When it came time to testify, Dr. Haiman was called on to defend the three elements of his expert testimony. First, his credentials, which are first rate and focused to address our case. Second, the methodology employed to reach his conclusion. Again, the approach was not “I sat in the room and observed”, it was logical, based on child development theory, and it was understandable. Finally, since the conclusions were from a court recognized expert, who applied well established and research-based methodology, they were impossible to question. The other attorney attempted to discredit the findings but even with his sometimes hostile approach Dr. Haiman stood firm and remained professional.

If you seek someone who truly cares about the assignment and is exceptionally knowledgeable we would recommend you speak to Dr. Haiman. He will speak from the heart and head, telling you what you need to know, not what you want to know. A very good person who we are proud to now call a friend.”

“May 14 2014
Hi Peter –

I do not know if you remember me – I corresponded with you in 2009/2010 regarding the high conflict custody situation that I was involved in with my ex (we were never married). At that time my daughter was 2 1/2 – 3 years old. She was showing signs of extreme distress before and after visits with her father – and the supervised visits had moved onto unsupervised visits.

Well – I am writing you to give closure to our story. I had decided that the only way that I could help protect my daughter was to move out of state. The Marin county courts granted a move away to Boulder, Colorado, in August of 2010. As part of the order, my daughter was to see a therapist to ensure that the move was not having a negative impact on her. Through these sessions, it was determined that my daughter was showing play that was consistent with a child who had been sexually abused. In January of 2011 my daughter began to disclose to me and to her therapist what “papa” would do to her and how he was touching her peepee. There is an incredible place here called and they conducted two forensic interviews with my daughter. During these interviews they concluded that she was a “reliable witness” and that she had been sexually abused.

It still took a lot of court work – but finally – on October 02, 2013 – four years after my initial concerns – the courts terminated the rights of the father of my daughter.

I am finally on the road to recovery with my daughter after this six year journey of hell and the legal system. I am putting my story together now and I hope that maybe someone like CNN or Oprah will pick it up and put some light on how nearly impossible it is to protect children from predator parents. I am so relieved that our story has a positive end – but it was six unbelievable years of struggle – and worse – a lifetime of struggle for my daughter who has suffered emotionally. She has had an extremely difficult time in school (she is now in the first grade) – we just completed an evaluation; and the school district is recognizing that she has an “emotional disability”. It is sad for me to watch her struggle emotionally – I know that she will make it, but it is sad none the less I wish that I could have done more sooner for her.

Anyway – I wanted to pass on the news to you as I had sought your advice and you were right on with what was happening. I will never understand why it is so hard with the court system.

Thank you for being there for us – _______”

“April 22, 2014
Hi Dr Haiman,

I just called to say thank you so much for your testimony today. It definitely swung things in my son’s favor to eventually, hopefully, get to no overnights. And maybe the Dad will increase daytime parenting. In the meantime obviously the Guardian ad Litem was really peeved that you poked holes in her Google research. She is most likely going to dig her heels in and come up with more things that support her argument. My attorney says that right now we are in the lead for what we hope to accomplish. We are going to have to do some of those evaluations to determine who our son feels he is primarily attached to. Then we are probably going to have to reschedule a hearing for June. I didn’t get to testify today. We only got about half way through so I will be in contact with you to hire you again to get you to give your testimony again when we have our next hearing to refute the expert that they are going to have. Again I greatly appreciate everything that you have done. We all have learned so much. This has been a real eye opener for the commissioner who is in charge of the case as well. Thank you very much. God bless.”

“April 11, 2014
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I would like to thank you for the article, “Protecting a child’s emotional development when parents separate or divorce.” It gives great insight and strengthens my convictions as a primary caregiver.

I am the mother of five wonderful children. I have always been an advocate for children and primary caregivers close, undisturbed relationships. I too, believe that it greatly improves children’s ability to handle all situations in life, especially stressful.

You clearly have the knowledge and true understanding of what it takes to create a more stabile community.

Sincerely, _______”

“February 17, 2014
Hi Dr. Haiman,

Thanks again for taking the time to call. I really appreciate that you did and even cared enough to still continue the conversation even though I was not able to contribute to your professional fee. That right there speaks volumes to me!

The 2nd & equally important point I would like to make is that, it is extremely heartwarming and commendable that this cause regarding attachment parenting is being lauded by men, especially those with their outstanding academic credentials.

I think that because it is being studied from the angle of a man, it will bear more weight in the judicial system than had these studies been done by women.

It is unfortunate that the reaction to a woman conducting these studies would not hold such merit as readers might just think it is filled with female emotion and gender biases with not enough logic.

So, I thank you Dr. Haiman along with the other men who have heralded the benefits to attachment parenting. I think should judges, lawyers, Children Aid Society and self-seeking fathers heard from you (directly) it would definitely be more credible and bear more weight. We know how this world is: men are still more respected than women.

I hope my opinion is not received in a negative light towards women as that is definitely not my intention but I am empowered by your life’s work and the articles that you have written have given women like me, even a glimmer of hope in the face of such disconcerting and stalwart opposition where the care of our children are concerned.

Thank you so much Dr. Haiman. Kudos to you and all you do.”

“February 13, 2014
Dear Peter,

Thank you so much for this report and ensuring I have it before court on Monday. Please thank you for taking the time to send it to me. I am so very grateful! You’re a very kind man.

You have no idea the relief I feel having spoken with you. The very things that feel so natural being mum to my son are the very things that the courts in Scotland bring into question. There is nothing more devastating and isolating than trying to protect your child from a system that claims they make decisions based on the child’s best interests when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth.

I just need to have faith and trust that everything will go as it should. I am absolutely certain that your report will help!

I will contact you after Monday and let you know how we get on.

Take care and talk soon. _______”

“January 14, 2014
Dr. Haiman,

I want to include this note of thanks to you for all of the information you provided to me. I truly appreciate the caring manner in which you reached out and followed up as I was in the midst of my custody case. Although things have settled down, some of it is not over so I may be in touch in the future, hopefully not, but possibly. Because of what you shared and in talking to you during such a difficult period I know what I need to do in the best interest of my baby so that he is a happy, healthy, emotionally well-adjusted boy.

Thanks so much for what you do.

Take care and God Bless.

Sincerely, _______”

“October 10, 2013
Hi Peter,

The report was wonderful it confirmed everything I believed about raising my son. It affirmed my beliefs were correct and did this with much evidence based research.

I had a CAFCASS officer whom believed my 1 year old child should attend nursery “to make handing him over to his father more ‘normal’; who disapproved of my breastfeeding at 15months and requested I stopped; and who believed I had “seperation” issues from my son because co-sleeping was unnatural & dangerous!!

Suffice to say she needed to read the report cover to cover and think about her own feelings towards attachment parenting.

My ex husband had similar views and he also got a copy to read!

I do not know if the report held any weight with the judge; but my barrister believed it was very good & I managed to get an appropriate level of contact befitting my child and our unique circumstances.

More than that the report gave me confidence and made me feel less alone. When so many ‘professionals’ are so negative this report gave me confidence to stand up and say that this is the evidence to back up what im saying. In the current UK system this was invaluable to me.

Also my phone conversation with you was reassuring. It was wonderful to talk to someone with such knowledge and interest in challenging ‘westernised’ culture for raising children.

I am deeply grateful. The report & discussion have enabled me to trust my instincts so that I can do the very best for my son.

Thank you again for everything. I am most in your debt. _______”

“August 23, 2013
Hi, Dr. Haiman.

Thank you again for the report and your support. It has made a difference so far, and I’m sure it will continue to do so as we make our way through this process. I did send the remainder of the payment, and I hope that has been received.

I wanted to share a quick update…

After the mediation last week, and as the hearing quickly approached, I became very concerned that I did not have the right lawyer fighting for . So, I found the right one. Finally! She is good, Dr. Haiman. In addition to so many other things that she has done to prepare for this case in such a short time, she also read your report, and it truly helped her to understand my position and to better argue for _’s best interest.

Our temporary hearing did not take place today; it was canceled this morning by the judge. My lawyer is working with ‘s lawyer to try to come to a temporary agreement. At least for right now, the visitation schedule is good for _. I know that there are more obstacles to cross before we finalize this divorce, but I wanted to let you know that now has a really good lawyer in her corner with me.”

“June 14, 2013
Hi Peter:

I wanted to give you an update on our case. We were awarded the adoption of our foster child last week despite Children, Youth and Family services selection of the grandmother. Thank you for your article. The judge specifically mentioned the “potential trauma” in moving the child as one of the major concerns. I hope the courts will continue to weigh in on the side of the “best interest of the child” within the child welfare system as we move into the future. Our attorney, who is very connected and aware of cases within our State, said this is one of the very few cases that have been pursued to this level within the court system. Now, this case can be cited in future cases to support children – so it is a HUGE win for children!

Thanks! _______”

“May 23, 2013
Hi Dr Haiman!

Just a quick note to let you know I was so pleased with your report and testimony. It will be the nail in the overnight’s coffin. I’ve given your name and website into to several groups I belong to on facebook: NPD survivors, single Moms, divorced parents, etc. I hope many come to you for help.

Be well always and in all ways. _______”

“March 21, 2013

I can’t thank you enough for the research report. It is perfect! I enjoyed all of it, but one section really stood out. You mentioned the risk of losing behavioral gains. was weaned last year when she was 18 months old (9 months ago). It was an easy transition; she was ready. In the past 3-4 months she now frequently asks to nurse. She attempts to pull down my shirt at least once daily and even latches if she can!! She constantly asks to play with my chest and has to fall asleep laying on my chest. I never realized this behavior could coincide with the stress she’s been put under as she is consistently forced to leave me.

Let’s hope this report will get through to some hard-headed and misinformed people! My attorney is a bright guy and fights for what I want but even he needs to read this. I forwarded it to him and will discuss it with him before I meet with the mediator (she will also get a copy).

Thank you so much! _______”

“May 2, 2013
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me recently. I am extremely appreciative of the advice and help you have offered to me. I feel as though I’m in the fight of my life, trying to get my daughters father, as well as the courts, to do what is right for her and not impose there beliefs on her. It’s heartbreaking to me that children seem to have no voice in the judicial process. That is why your work is so vital to all of us who are trying desperately to have our children’s rights heard, which would allow them to have a secure and safe childhood. I can’t tell you enough what it means to me to have you to call upon for expert advice on Attachment.

I will be in contact in the next few days, with possible dates for a conference call with my lawyer and myself.
Again thank you for your valuable opinions, knowledge and time.

Warm regards, _______”

“February 12, 2013

‘The case against time out’… yes! I read that article! I loved it! I have been on a search for a few months for alternatives to time out since it seems my daughter is getting some harm from it (wetting herself during, biting her nails after, etc.).

I just listened to one of your audio clips … and within the first 2 minutes I realized why my daughter bites her nails. It is because she has been raised with “time out” from the age of 10 months. We used this because we both are determined not to ever spank her (we never have), because we do not want to treat her the way we were treated as children. We have both suffered from our childhoods. Thank goodness we were married 10 years before we gave birth to our daughter. In that time we learned a great deal.

We are committed to raising our daughter as a free person … with her own rights … with love and respect. I am sad to have made such a mistake that has obviously injured her and caused the nail biting … but I am so happy to have found your article and audio clip so I can learn how to do it right! I love her … and I never want to hurt her the way I have been hurt.

Thank you so much for the work that you do. Because of you and all your hard work my daughter will get to grow up having never been spanked or humiliated or shamed … that is indeed the best continual Christmas gift any child could receive!

There is a spreading of this way of parenting as well. I have been talking about this for a while with the parents in my daughter’s play group and many are accepting these new ways of parenting and adopting them as their own.

Love and thanks. _______”

“Nov 12, 2012

Good morning,

I wanted to let you know how it went in court last Friday. It went very well in the mother’s favor. Him and his attorney were very arrogant and belligerent. They of course tried to intimidate her in the hallway. She held her ground in a very nice and sweet manner. The parenting plan counselor showed up and mother’s behalf. That went well, in fact very well.

The only things we could go over in this court date was parenting hours and safe exchange and nursing. All was ruled in her favor.

This guy and his attorney were stunned. We could not believe it. There is justice after all. We know that we have a long road but at least this is a bright time for her and her young son. She stood her ground in a very respectful way and stern.

She went in very prepared with your information as well. You would have been proud of her. For being just twenty years old she knew what way best for the baby and she went for it.

His attorney was taken back because he could not intimidate her.

Thank you for your encouraging us through this. I will continue to keep you informed with all the latest developments.”

“October 24, 2012

I am an early childhood educator and I currently work in a nonprofit organization helping parents/caregivers through the phone with concerns about their children 0-5. I have read so many articles and I am constantly searching to support these parents with so many different concerns. On one of my searches I found Dr. Haiman’s articles and I just love them!! I love the way he put together the information, it is easy to read and understand. I feel I am talking to him while I read them. The topics he talks about are very common questions people call us for. Discipline, sibling rivalry, emotional development, etc. are very important topics that in my experience of searching I haven’t found it easy to get the information I am looking for.

Dr. Haiman’s articles have been very helpful for me to get more knowledge as a mother and as a professional helping families. I am very thankful for his insights and to have found this great information. Thank you for your dedication.”

“April 3, 2012

While researching the internet for information on how visitation schedules can affect my 2-year old granddaughter, I came across Dr. Haiman’s website. I, too, began reading the comments left by others who had come in contact with Dr. Haiman and I was so impressed that I decided to call him myself. He answered my call immediately and spent a good deal of time listening to me and my situation regarding my granddaughter, who is experiencing a very harmful visitation schedule. Dr. Haiman gave me a great deal of information and then for a very fair fee wrote a detailed letter to the court system (my daughter is appealing through) regarding the harmful impact the type of visitation schedule would have on my grandchild if it continued on. His information was well cited and I know he spent a great deal of time elaborating on the negative impact the current visitation schedule could have on her future if it did not change. Dr. Haiman is a kind, personable man whom I would highly recommend if you have children and are facing situations that could negatively impact your child. His supportive and concerned nature, and especially his willingness to go beyond what seems to more and more be the standard of “money first,” is impressive and refreshing!

Gratefully,
A concerned grandmother”

“May 31, 2011

Hi. Just came across your wisdom! I’m a school psychologist by profession but also a wife, mother, daughter and sister. I have three children 6 and under and feeling imprisoned lately… I have always felt that children are gifts from God, but you made me realize how, by being a more informed parent and mindful of how I was raised. My children hold the keys to my freedom from an imprisoned past. I want to be a better parent for my children and my children’s children. So if I need to, I will seek therapy.

Thank you, _______”

“January 6,2011
Dear Dr Haiman,

Thank you so much for all your help with finding me a new lawyer in _ and your advice with my custody situation for my son. I know this probably isn’t much, but I wanted to send you a thank you with some money I got for Christmas. Your help has meant the world to me! Your advice has been wonderful, and it is just so nice to feel like I have someone willing to fight for the well-being of my son. Thank you so much!

Sincerely, _______”

“September 28,2010
Dear Peter,

Thank you so much for your heartwarming and encouraging email. I have met so many really kind and caring people in the last couple of months, Peter, and you were the first of them. You appeared in our lives at a time when I didn’t know where to turn or how to find help for my son and our family.

This brings me to reflect with gratitude on the insight and genuine care you have shown towards myself, my son and my husband, although we have only been in touch through email as we live in Ireland. You were prepared to help us negotiate our way through all the red tape and various organisations to find the help we needed although you live so far away. You pointed me in a direction and set me on a path. I got lost many times but you helped me get my focus back. You never lost patience, gently prompting me to work out, with and _ ‘s help what was best for us as a family. You always seem to know the right questions to ask.

At one stage you pointed out that maybe _ _ felt he had never been listened to since he was a tiny child. I asked _ if this was how he felt and he said he had been trying to tell me this for years, but of course I hadn’t been listening. I don’t know how you worked that out, Peter, as you haven’t been talking to , but you encouraged me to ask questions and to really listen to the answers.

Although our son is 19, you have given us hope that it is not too late to turn things around and to help him realise his potential as a complete human being. It is not too late for us to become a healthy functioning family. You encouraged me to ask questions and listen, really listen, to what my husband and son had to say. You never used the word “controlling,” but talking to you and learning to listen to , I came to realise how controlling I am in my relationships both with my husband and son. You also helped me find a counselor here, who has been a wonderful help to me.

When I first wrote to you, I was extremely distressed and worried I was going to lose my son, but now I look forward to our lives in the future with hope. My son hasn’t completely stopped drinking or taking drugs, yet we have stopped having arguments and his asthma has disappeared again. He is also getting counseling.

The three of us climbed a mountain together last week in the West of Ireland. It was something we tried to plan since the beginning of the year, but it was cancelled so many times due to _’s addiction. _ _ said he felt it was a new beginning for us and I believe it is. I also believe it is largely thanks to your encouragement, insight and help that we have got to this point, Peter. We have got back a son who tells us every day that he loves us and really means it. The lines of communication between us are open again. The words “kindness” and “love” continually feature in your vocabulary, Peter.

You are one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met.

A while ago I sent you a card with a quotation from St. Frances Xavier “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength.” To me this is the essence of the man that you are.

I don’t know how to thank you except just to say “Thank you!”

With love from _______”

“May 19, 2010

Hi! I don’t know if you remember me. My daughter’s name is _. I sent you an email a couple of months ago on her defiant behavior. I just wanted to let you know that the supermarket is her favorite place to go now!! Ha-ha. Considering I gave her a problem to solve instead of a choice she loved it!! Her behavior has gotten much better in general. I wanted to thank you for taking the time with me to talk about the difficulties I was having. You are certainly one to respect and if I ever need you in the future I won’t hesitate to call.

Sincerely, _______”

“April 26, 2010

Thank you for your work and writing.

You have it right on. I had always wondered why we always get on better with our babies rather than the two year olds and upwards. You have given me the answer! It is because for the young ones we have been taught to give them what they need and try to understand them..but the older ones: we have been taught that we have to get them to do what we want them to do! As a result we don’t get along with them, they are unhappy and we are frustrated. Thank you for reminding us of what we instinctively know when we have just gotten our children but forget so soon.”

“Hello Peter,

I just wanted to let you know that today I followed your guidance about giving _ his “power and sense of self back” and I while _ was crawling up our stairs with us close behind her, I whispered to him, “ , do you see _ crawling up the stairs? Do you know where she learned that and who she is imitating?” _ said, “Daddy?” I said, “No, she is imitating you and by watching you, she has learned to do this! You have taught your sister how to climb the stairs!

You are a wonderful teacher and a wonderful big brother!” He BEAMED from ear to ear and everyone we encountered today heard about how he has taught to climb the stairs….

We had several temper tantrums and several other “challenging moments” but I think that we are headed in the right direction – thanks to you Peter.

I will definitely be sending you some compensation for your time and interest in helping me with some time in the next couple of weeks. I know that you said money isn’t that important to you, and I cannot afford to send you a lot, but I will be sending something and wanted you to know that the simple fact that you were willing to listen and give us some advice means so much to us. If I were wealthy, I’d send you so much more, for your time and knowledge is invaluable.

Thanks Peter!!
Warmest Regards, _______”

“July 29, 2009
Dear Dr. Haiman,

It was such a pleasure to speak with you on the phone. You provided me with some excellent insight and advice. I have since read more of your articles and find your work to be amazing and compassionate. I studied child development at UC Davis before going on to dental school. I would like to send you some information about my son________ and our current battle so you can hopefully give me more insight on how this is affecting my son and his emotional development.

Thank you, _______”

“July 27, 2009
Dr Haiman,

I have downloaded almost every document you have so generously made available here and am just beginning the delightful journey through them. I have in fact just read “How Best to Establish Limits and Routines with Young Children” and am immediately motivated to thank you so very much for inspirations. I am a committed attachment parent but also the single Mom of a two and a half year old little girl. I try to be creative, responsive and inventive but sometimes the strain of parenting alone and being the only breadwinner cripples my ingenuity. Your suggestions are so very welcome and so important.

I am from South Africa so it is doubtful that I might have opportunity to speak with you but I thank you most sincerely for what you have shared here.

Kindest regards, _______”

“April 15, 2009
Dear Dr.Haiman,

Although I am a writer, I often find that words do not adequately express… A ‘thank you’ seems simple enough, but the depths of its meaning vary widely – for you my dear friend, may I say that my thanks to you is as deep as my soul and as vibrant as my spirit – you have given me great gifts in our brief encounter, and I will treasure each one throughout my lifetime.

I wanted to take a bit of time to let you know my thoughts about a ‘sense of wonder’ in a child. My son and I have spent the majority of our days together passionately discovering and exploring the shapes, sounds, rhythms, colors, tastes, and textures of everything in our world – natural and man-made – for all have their intrinsic and extrinsic beauty and importance…

We use a flashlight at night to create an ocean of various kinds of fish swimming this way and that, and we swim with them; or a universe of planets and stars and moons. We shout out the colors of spring and the names of flowers as we drive, we take time to smell roses and lavender, and capture the beauty of dew drops on a spider’s web. We pick and taste blueberries and we listen to the violin and piano. We dance under the stars and moon, and delight in the colors of the setting sun. We bring books into our garden and chat about the plants and insects we find – we catch bugs and watch their movement, and discover their colors, shapes and parts. We collect treasures from our walks, and we create art with them.

We even take shapes and sights we see, and create stories around them. I make-up songs about all the things we do and see, and sing them to him.

As a result, I have a son who says to me, “Mama, come see, it’s a fire red and pink sunset, you can’t miss it!” Or “Mama, look up at the sky, it’s the big – dipper, it looks like a wheel barrel in the sky.” Or, “Mama, that’s the brightest star I have ever seen, let’s wish on it… Mama – I give my wish to you – it’s a present to you…” Or, “Mama, that dandelion is a lovely flower, it is so beautiful.”

My son indeed has a sense of wonder…”

“April 15, 2009
Doctor Peter Haiman,

How nice to hear from you. Hope all is well with you. So far everyone in the house is expressing their feelings every chance available. is starting to cry when things bother him instead of holding everything in. I just hold him and then he tells me what he wants and how he feels. His old/present caregiver says that he is fine and he does not give any trouble. She has about 5 kids from various ages. He tells me he likes the kids and some mornings he will ask me for extra stacks so he can share with his new friends. He is starting to come out from that I’m a bad boy attitude to I’m a good boy all the time and you can see the difference in his behavior. We will continue the exercise with him. I attached a picture of him for you to meet my little man.

Once again Dr. Peter Haiman thanks. Thank for your continuing help and care for my child. God bless!
Berkeley, CA”

“July 17, 2008
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you from my heart for the wisdom and guidance you provided to me during our conversation yesterday. As I prepare to take on the challenges ahead, it is a great comfort to know that I can continue to seek your expertise. I will use it wisely and with fortitude.

Warmly, ________”

“Nov. 7, 2006
Dear Dr. Peter Ernest Haiman, PH. D.;

I was cleaning out our basement recently and I found your old business card so I decided to contact you to express my gratitude.

I wanted to thank you setting our family off in the right direction with the knowledge you shared with us years ago. I took two classes from you in Albany in 1987. The first class I took when I was pregnant and then I took another after my son, _, was born. Thanks to your guidance I was shown a model that helped to create a wonderful warm loving 19 year old young man.

My husband and I were married 16 years before our son was born and he was precious to our lives long before we saw him. In the beginning years ago there was a hesitation to have children because I had come from an abusive background and I feared being a mother. I never wanted to repeat the patterns that I grew up with. After we wanted children it took us many years, several miscarriages to have a beautiful boy. The arrival of a healthy beautiful boy was momentous in our lives.

Your positive role models were my first direct experiences with a different way of life. I knew what I didn’t want to do, but when you said “do you want to eat in the blue bowl or the red bowl?” and talked about giving a child choices, the light went on and I could see more of what I wanted to do. I could see a positive way of dealing with child rearing from your example and it has worked for us. We continued to read and learn as he grew up which has been exciting.

Fortunately, I was very committed to breaking the cycle of violence in my family long before I wanted to have children, and I am happy to say that neither of us has ever been physically or mentally abusive to my son. The cycle stopped with this generation and our son has grown up in an extremely loving supportive environment. He tells me every day that he loves me even though he has had a steady girlfriend for over two years. Your lessons gave me my first tools to help raise a child in a manner that was respectful and I am grateful.

When our son was about 3 months old I remember taking a test that you gave us to determine some of his psychological traits. My husband and I have commented on the fact that this personality has not changed since this test we took about him years ago. The test seemed very accurate to both of us.

I am so very glad that you were here for me to take a class, just a short walking distance from our home, almost 20 years ago. Thank you for being such a kind sharing warm human being. Your influence had a very positive ripple effect in the lives of our family.

Gratefully yours, _______”

“Aug 15, 2002
Dear Peter,

Hope all is well with you. Autumn is always my favorite time of year. I just love watching the trees change colors. We are just coming out of winter – maybe a few more weeks of it.

I feel I’m treading unfamiliar ground sending this check. According to my records this is the balance of our account. My monthly trips to the bank to exchange Australian dollars into US dollars have sort of developed into a ritual. It reminds me our your comforting voice telling me to be nice to myself. I think things are going pretty well for me – in fact I remind others to be nice to me too.

one week in still likes his job – he is amazed how clear they are in their focus. People ask questions that he feels would have been looked down upon at his previous job & it encouraged him to do the same.

Can’t tell you how much you have helped our family, _ & myself. Our family is definitely the better for it.

Thank you,
Love, _______”

“May 31, 2002
Dear Dr. Haiman,

It was such a pleasure to meet you a few weeks ago! I only regret that I couldn’t find a chance earlier to write and tell you how much I enjoyed your excellent presentation. I apologize for the tardiness of this note. However, I must tell you how very often I have thought about things you said on May 15th; I learned a lot about understanding my children’s behavior. I think it was a valuable evening for all of us.

I hope that we may be able to have you speak to our organization in the future. I know we could all benefit from hearing more of your research and insights about children’s behavior. Furthermore, I am certain new members of our organization would love to attend one of your presentations.

Thank you very much for taking the time—late into the evening—to help us all in understanding our children better. Your provided some excellent insights. In addition, after listening to your talk, I see how important it is to think about the underlying causes of our children’s behaviors. I feel I gained valuable guidance on becoming a better parent.

Again, thank you very much of an enlightening evening. I look forward to seeing you in the future.

Sincerely, _______”

“August 8, 1999
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I found your questions about how I came to the interpretations I had come to (regarding my employer) disturbing but as it turns out, they were more on the mark than I had wanted to acknowledge.

On 2 August I gave notice to resign. , my supervisor, was somewhat taken aback and asked if I would be willing to talk about my decision. That led to hours of discussion and analysis of specific incidences. What became clear is that we do not interpret each other’s actions accurately. As a result of our discussions and an action he had already initiated on his own, we have agreed to meet with a facilitator to see what, if anything, can be done to improve communication between us.

I am not likely to stay with the for a long time as emotionally it is too draining a place for me to work. But I now know that when I do leave, it will be by mutual agreement, not in severe frustration or any other reactive mode.

Thank you once again for meeting with me. And thank you for letting me know that I can call on you again, should I feel the need.

Respectfully, _______”

“April 16,1999
Dear Peter,

As ever, your analysis of the problem seems accurate and your advice has been very helpful. I still have a ways to go but at least I’m moving in the right direction. _ already appears to be much happier.

Many thanks, _______”

“July 27, 1998

I sincerely appreciated your article. I have a 27 month old daughter, _, and we are expecting a son, _, in November. I have been struggling with ways to deal with what everyone else would call “normal toddler behavior,” i.e., the temper tantrums which seem to only happen at the mall or the grocery store for us, and running off on me when we are outside. She is a very precocious child, full of affection and endless energy.

When we experience one of the above-mentioned moments, I do admit that it is likely a result of her being either tired or over-stimulated (in re: to temper tantrums), and as to the latter, she is under-stimulated from being cooped-up in the house with me all day.

Which brings me to my question/dilemna. I stay at home with at a cost. We are strapped financially and the consequences are that she and I are often stuck at home when my husband is at work, not always, but often. We life in a apartment complex where we rarely see any other children, and we live in Austin, Texas, which is quite, quite hot these days. So she gets very bored. And I feel terrible that she has no toddler companions. Do you have any suggestions to fill her day? We color, read, play basketball, play-doh, she helps me with household stuff.”

“January 30, 1997
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you again for your words of wisdom. I put a copy of “For Your Own Good” on hold & will try & read as much of it as I can before next Thursday. I look forward to talking more with you then on how to deal with my quick temper.

Sincerely, _______”

“Dec. 8, 1996
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I wrote this at school. What better holiday wishes could we have? I knew you would appreciate it!

He’s now mainstreamed in a small private school, and doing very well. All “E”‘s on the report card – even in music and French! He’s the best reader in his class of 22 “normal” kids. And, perhaps best of all, he’s happy and well-liked by the other kids and the staff. Thank you again for all your help. We hope you and your family are well, and enjoying a wonderful holiday season.

Love, _______”

“October 1, 1996
Dear Peter,

Thank you very much for sending me the material and for a most encouraging conversation. It is truly a relief to me to find professionals who support what many moms know: they have to be with their children. At least, that is how I feel.

I have a 4 year old and a 14 month old, as I told you. I am working at home doing editorial and research and fact-checking work for a small publishing company. My 4 year old goes to preschool, but my baby is still home and I want to keep it that way! My life is a juggling act, but I will do anything to keep my young children with me as much as possible. As I told you on the phone, I have done a bit of research into attachment etc. I guess it is a product of my job that I have to look into everything!

What I am especially interested in is how the mother influences and assists in the brain development of her child. My reason for being interested in this is that some people seem to think that if a baby is in a stimulating daycare situation it is actually intellectually beneficial to them, and the mother-child bond is not affected by being apart for a few hours each day, especially if the environment is so stimulating for the child. The handout my friend sent me, that I got your name from, said: “During his presentation Dr. Haiman referred to material that found the development of the frontal lobes of the brain are more fully developed in the infant whose primary care provider was responsive.”

I was wondering if I could get a copy of the study that this came from and talk to you about this a bit more? My idea is that since the mother is the most responsive person to the baby, she is the ideal one to promote the development of the frontal lobes, and that no daycare situation, however excellent, can substitute for this. Is there anything more specific you could send me on this particular area? I would then like to talk to you again after I study a bit more. I am very curious about how the study was done and how the frontal lobe development is measured etc.

I don’t want to put you to a lot of trouble; I just was so excited when I talked to you I was not very specific! When I talked to Jay Belsky several years ago I felt he had a key to how attachment and daycare was viewed, but how the mother is linked to the brain development of her child is even more interesting to me. I really wished I lived in California and could come and meet you!

Thank you again for your encouragement & excellent work. Most sincerely, _______”

“March 7, 1995 (6:30 A.M.)
Dearest Peter:

On this, a special day for me, I want to begin my 60th year and tell you how much you mean to me – you’re the first today, and I am glad.

You have been and are a marvelous constant in my life… Our friendship means much to me and I feel blessed by your actions, thought and words. You’ll be amused (amazed) to know I’m also a “Boar” – so I get a double (never a bore!!) whammy this decade year, as it’s my linear year as well as horizontal / vertical – whatever!!

Dear Peter, a tender, long hug and much loving warmth to you on my day.

Loving you, _______”

“March 1, 1995
Dear Peter,

What a bittersweet goodbye. Part of me wanted to run back inside on Saturday and get another hug from you. Yet, as I walked outside a mockingbird was singing from the top of a tall pine tree outside your office. As I listened I felt as if it was Spring, a new beginning. A rush of hope and excitement. Thank you for pointing me in a new direction and for staying with me when things were so dark. Let’s stay in touch. I’ll miss you, but I will be thinking of you.

Love, _______”

“January 1, 1995
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I wish you health and happiness in 1995. I am thankful to have the opportunity to get to know you, you are a very kind and warm person. ____and I have been able to share a lot of feelings that were hidden or not recognized previously.

We are doing our best for the children and ourselves.

Thanks for your support.

Sincerely, _______”

“June 15, 1994
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I wanted to write and thank you for your workshop at the NC La Leche League Conference at Santa Clara, I attended. “How Divorce Affects Children”. I was very touched & very moved by your deep concern for children and your deep concern for us, the participants.

Thank God there are advocates as yourself, for children.

We spoke, you and I. I am the one who had the question about my son screaming every time he had to be left with his father and how everyone said “he is manipulating me!”

Thank you with all my heart for confirming what I truly believed. I only wish that I had had the strength to act upon what my instincts were telling me. Only with the birth of my second son did I finally learn to do that (act on my instincts).

He was the one sleeping and “melting” in my arms. You stated that he was so full of trust in his sleeping face. If I only could have bestowed the beautiful gift of motherly instinct on my 1st son in his early years.
I have so much more I could write and say I would fill countless numbers of pages. I mainly wanted to let you know how grateful I am to you. I need a great deal of courage right now in my life and I gained some from you.

Here I am in my second marriage and I am faced with it dissolving. I have tried with all my power since the conference to start the ground work for keeping the marriage together. I am failing.

My heart is breaking, but I will do what I need to do to keep my children safe, happy, loved and supported.

Once again, Dr. Haiman, thank you for making a difference.

Most Sincerely, _______”

“May 12, 1994
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you so very much for your immediate and respectful response to my call for help. You are a wonderful person!

Warm regards, _______”

“April 6, 1994
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I appreciate your taking time to speak with me regarding _. Your suggestions and advice helped to clarify and reaffirm my parenting choices and my commitment to my children to continue my role as their advocate.

I look forward to seeing you at the LLL N.CA/HI Conference in May.

Thanks again for all your help – I’ll be in touch. _______”

“January 30. 1993
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I wish to take this opportunity to express my sincere thanks and appreciation for your patience and willingness to acceptance monthly payments. I truly had no other way to repay you.

I am still not divorced (I think this is the longest divorce in history!) and the legal fees have been overwhelming. My husband is fighting me on every issue regarding the boys. But there is good news too. _ is now 12 years old and is reading on grade level. He made another 3 year growth in reading last year and another 1 year growth during this last summer. He simply needed the time to develop as well as to deal with all the trauma from the divorce. Your testimony positively affected his life (as it did all of ours) by giving him the chance to move forward in his own way in his own time. It has been a challenge for him, but he has prevailed and become much stronger for it. Next year he will most likely attend the local junior high school for a couple of periods and homeschool with me for the rest, as his older brother is doing now.

_, my other son, is now 14 years old and bas attended 2 periods a day at the local junior high school and is a straight a student. He still prefers and misses, as do I, homeschooling the way we used to do it before I began fulltime employment. That first year was an adjustment for us all, but we are coping well under the circumstances and moving on.

Enclosed is a check for _ , which should pay off the balance of what I owe you. Anyway, I trust all is well with you.

Again, thank you. _______”

“June 2, 1992
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I feel great. Your support have given me a lot of strength to deal with life in a way that I wasn’t able to before therapy. I am very happy about what I am doing for my family and myself. Thanks for being there.

Sincerely, _______”

“March 27, 1992
Dear Peter;

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me, lend support and love, and to also talk with the attorney I have engaged.

This battle has been frustrating and exhausting. The legal system is certainly full of injustice at the present time! (Prayers and positive thinking have gotten us this far!)

Let’s hope the outcome of these procedures will protect this little child. He is so dear, so innocent and trusting, so deserving of a secure and happy childhood.

Our children are the legacy of humanity.

You are doing such a fine thing by leading people with your convictions that nurturing and loving is alright – and indeed mandatory for raising well-adjusted and healthy human beings.

I look forward to meeting you.

My deepest thanks for the time you shared with me.

We wish you peace, warmth and love.

Sincerely yours _______”

“October 20, 1991
Dear Mr. Haiman,

Recently my wife and I had the privilege of attending three of your classes on “Parenting the Young Child” at Albany Adult School.

Although we do not have any young children of our own, we do run a licensed family daycare.

We are thankful to you for teaching us how effectively and affectionally young children should be taken care of.

We are applying the systemic training we received from you in our daycare and are happy to say that we are extremely successful.

We strongly recommend that all daycare operators go through your class. There is a whole lot to gain. We surely did.

Thank-you Dr. Haiman for all your help.”

“October 13. 1991
Dear Dr. Haiman,

Enclosed you will find a card, which I thought I had sent to my attorney to forward to you since I did not have your address at the time. I found it the other day in one of my notebooks, and sadly realized that it had never been mailed.

My attorney’s office recently forwarded your bill to me for the fees and costs you incurred during the course of my trial. As I mentioned to you on the phone prior to the trial, I am severely strapped financially at this point in time, I will however make monthly payments to you. Enclosed is a check for $50.00. I will make every effort to pay you this amount each month or more when possible, but I will at least pay something each month. If this arrangement is not acceptable to you, please let me know.

It’s been quite a whirlwind this past month. I absolutely love my new job even though it’s been very demanding. I’ve been swamped with challenges and obligations, but I still love it, so I know I’m in my right place! and are adjusting just fine. It’s been a real challenge because it’s not home schooling the way we knew it, but rather independent study. It’s different, but still flexible and accommodating to my son’s individual educational needs. We are happy and we are going in a positive direction.

Again, I thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. Your testimony was most significant and thus invaluable to me and my children and our future. I am very grateful to you for your compassion and willingness to help me at a time when I really needed help. I trust all is well with you and your family. If I can ever be of any assistance to you, please don’t hesitate to ask. Thank you again.

Sincerely, _______”

“March 1, 1991
Dear Dr. Haiman,

I met you last June at the picnic; I had my daughter + newborn son with me. You sent me your article on the selfdisciplined child, + suggested I subscribe to “Mothering”. I never seemed to have enough time to thank you, but would like to do so now. I did subscribe to “Mothering”, + find it much more suited to my needs than either “Parenting” or “Parents” (although I still read those, too!) Your article has been very helpful in my raising _ , who turned two on Jan 31. She is quite precocious (not just by my unbiased, of course!, opinion; her doctor says so as well); coupling this factor with having a nine month old, she gets to be almost more than I can handle at times. Then I re-read your article + regain my perspective. If she only knew the tongue=lashings + possible “swats” you have saved her from, would thank you herself.”

“Dear Peter,

Thank you for your help and your knowledge.

I believe our difficult situation is easing using many of your suggestions and insights.

I will be in touch with you again.”

“Peter,

Thank you for always going the “extra mile” with me. I truly could not have made it to this point without your understanding, support, and guidance.”

 “Dear Peter,

Thank you for the phone help on Saturday. You had some good suggestions that we are to use this week. We’ll keep intouch, _______”

“Dear Peter,

Thank you for your help and your knowledge. I believe our difficult situation is easing using many of your suggestions and insight. I will be in touch with you again. Enclosed is check to pay balance of fee. Please forgive my oversight.”

“Dear Dr. Haiman,

I am writing you this letter to let you know how much we appreciated your help with our boys. Although we haven’t seen each other in a couple of years, we had never forgot you. Every day, we watched our boys grow, , 9 yrs. old & 7 yrs. old, we count our lucky stars. We considered ourselves very very lucky to seek your help. Your advice made us the best of parent to the boys. Our family will always remember you. Best of luck to you & your family.

Love, _______ , _______, _______, & _______.”

“To Peter,

Thank you for all the wisdom, love & support you’ve given me. You’ve made a BIG impact on my life.”

“Dear Peter,

I enjoyed meeting with you last week. Many thanks for the love and support. You have had a profound effect on who I am today.

Received your article on time out. Our chair is now called the thinking time chair and is not used often, but is effective in giving me time to stay calm. I found a great article you wrote on the internet yesterday. Developing a Sense of Wonder in Young Child.

It is a very inspirational. So again many thanks. This card reminded me of your bird clock.”

“Dear Dr. Haiman,

I just wanted to write a short note to thank you for extreme kindness. All of the information you provided is very helpful.

Things have been a little (actually a lot) crazy lately, and it’s nice to know there’s people out there as thoughtful as you!

Again, thank you for everything, and I’ll keep you posted.

Sincerely, _______”

“Dear Peter,

I saw my _ yesterday as a result of your sensitivity and insight. Thank you. Your description of growth patterns made it, actually, a positive experience going back. I’m usually pretty in tune to how I’m feeling though, so if I didn’t know – How did you? You must be good! Have a good week!

Sincerely, _______”

“Dear Peter,

Thank you for helping our family get back on track. Our life with has taken a big turn for the better. Have a very Merry Christmas & a wonderful New Year!

Love, _______ & _______”

“Hi Peter,

How are you doing? I was wondering if you ever received the card and photos I sent you? Things are better here. We have implemented all of your suggestions, have moved the T.V into the basement (where it belongs! :-)) and I am napping and _ _. Bedtime doesn’t go quite as quickly as it did prior to napping, but it is nice to have a little boy that I can deal with in the evenings we are all much happier and our home is very peaceful.

Thanks!”

“Dear Dr. Haiman,

Thank you for sending this article and your listening ear!
I appreciate your helpfulness and understanding. All too often we go through life simply doing what we have to do.

Thank you for your willingness to take those extra steps along the way!

Sincerely, _______”

“Dear Peter,

We want to thank you for your help and encouragement concerning our daughter.

Your follow-ups are a blessing!

I enjoy you as a professional and as a friend.

Thought you might like this piece that was in the paper.

Talk to you soon.”

“Dear Peter,

It is a rare occasion that one receives a gift so precious and meaningful to one’s life. The confidence and belief you have shown me regarding being a teacher is indeed a precious gift for me. It gave me reassurance and confidence I needed; most of all, it rejuvenated my dream and drive to be aware of student’s need is possible and still teach. Because, that’s what you did for me. I have been questioning whether my quest was possible with closing of schools, budget cuts and teacher lay-offs. Somehow, I lost site of my dream and drive, but I found it _ _ through you!

Furthermore I want to thank you for understanding my health problem, and I want to thank _ for speaking and informing me about my mediation.

Before closing, I wish you, joyous Christmas & New Year!

Sincerely, _______”

“Dear Dr. Haiman,

I want to thank you for coming to talk to the San Ramon Mother’s Club yesterday. You’ll remember me when I tell you that I’m the one who was crying.

I really appreciated your way of approaching parenting. I think my tears came because you touched on several areas that are very close to my heart. During the break, you spoke with a woman who knew her second child was her last. This is true for me, also, and I’ve been struggling with that and with the fact that my 18-month-old baby is growing up. I have a difficult time getting rid of anything that represents his babyhood (i.e. his infant bathtub, even though he hasn’t used it for over a year.)

As I told you yesterday, I’ve also been struggling with the fact that my husband, pediatrician, and friends are encouraging me to quit breast-feeding. After talking with you, I feel strengthened in my view that I’ll let him quit when he’s ready.

It may have seemed as though I was upset by the things you said. I wanted to let you know that, on the contrary, your discussion reaffirmed what I had been feeling, but thought was wrong because others in my life had disagreed with me.

I was amazed at how much you cared about each person’s situation. I also wanted to thank you for telling us what is best for our children, despite the fact that it wasn’t always what everyone wanted to hear.

Sincerely, _______”